


Discovery

by Kaiyou



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Confession, Drabble, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, canonish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8022898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaiyou/pseuds/Kaiyou
Summary: There were some things that Kuroo was never supposed to find out about.





	Discovery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skittidyne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skittidyne/gifts).



> Another little drabblish thing, for skitty. Prompt was Kuroken, 22: “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

Kuroo was always looking at him. He had been the center of Kuroo’s attention for almost all their lives, and he knew that. It was comforting, on some levels. With Kuroo looking out for him, he didn’t have to worry as much about looking out for himself. He knew that was selfish, knew he wouldn’t always have Kuroo around - didn’t always have Kuroo around - but it was simply the way it was.

The problem was, that if Kuroo was always looking at him, it was getting harder and harder for Kenma to look at Kuroo.

He was so afraid it would show. Kuroo knew him so intimately. Knew when he was uncomfortable, knew when he was pleased. He even claimed to be able to tell when Kenma was excited, for Pete's sake, though Kenma knew he was wrong.

Well, maybe.

But Kuroo could never, ever, ever find out some things.

Like the way that Kenma could barely tear his eyes away from how water dripped down Kuroo’s back in the shower. Or that sometimes Kenma woke up early just to watch Kuroo sleeping, consciously slowing his breathing down just to make sure he didn’t disturb his best friend while the sun crept across his face. Or that the joy that flashed across Kuroo’s face as he and Bokuto talked filled Kenma with pure warmth.

He couldn’t let Kuroo know that.

He already had so much of Kuroo. Even if he was selfish, it was wrong for him to want everything from him.

It twisted him up inside sometimes just thinking about it.

“Kenma.”

Kenma blinked and looked up, eyes wide as he hid the screen of his phone. It slid out of his hands and skittered across the floor.

Kuroo laughed. “See, that’s what happens when you get too focused on your game. You should stop playing for a minute and realize that you’re the only one left in the locker room.”

“I, ah -” Kenma started, eyes widening in horror as Kuroo reached for the phone.

“What game were you playing this time? I -”

Kuroo stopped, staring at the image on the screen. Kenma knew exactly what he’d find there - that stupid otome game, where one of the characters was named Kuro and looked so much like Kuroo that he couldn’t resist. And of course, it had to be at one of the junctures of dialogue that was especially provocative -

Blinking, he grabbed his bag and stood, snatching the phone from Kuroo’s grasp and rushing out the locker room door.

“Kenma!”

His life was ruined. He blinked rapidly, stuffing the offending phone in his pocket and rushing down the walkway, wanting to escape as fast as possible. No, it wasn’t enough that he kept having distracting thoughts about his best friend, he had to go and be stupid and let it get revealed that he was having the dirtiest, most pornographic thoughts about him -

“Kenma wait!”

Kuroo probably hated him now, probably thought he was disgusting -

“Damnit, Kenma,” Kuroo said, grabbing the strap of Kenma’s bag. It threw Kenma off-balance and he skidded to a halt, back slamming against the wall. Kuroo was close, too close suddenly, one hand pressing against the wall on the other side of his head, his hand still pulling at the bag. 

“Let go of me, Kuro,” Kenma said, looking at his best friend’s chest.

He had no doubt that Kuroo would back off. Kuroo never pushed him, never violated his space. Kuroo let go of his bag, and for a moment Kenma thought he was going to step back and let him go, but then his hand came up to rest on the other side of Kenma’s head.

“Kenma,” Kuroo murmured. His voice was soft and made Kenma duck his head down, blinking rapidly because of some stupid dust he’d gotten in his eye.

“Let me go.” 

A part of him knew that he wasn’t really held in place. He could duck out from under Kuroo’s arms and run away and Kuroo wouldn’t stop him, but he found he couldn’t move.

“Hey, hey,” Kuroo murmured, “It’s ok, Kenma. It’s ok.”

It wasn’t ok. It wasn’t anywhere close to ok.

“I knew, I knew. I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

Everything in Kenma froze up at that thought. He was completely mortified at the thought. Too much. It was too much. He felt the wetness spill over onto his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I figured you’d talk to me about it when you were ready if you wanted to. I thought it might just be some stupid crush, that maybe I was reading things wrong. I never meant to spook you like that - hey, hey, don’t cry, kitten -”

Kenma shuddered, feeling Kuroo’s fingers brush along his shoulders. “I’m awful,” he whispered.

“No, no, shh,” Kuroo murmured, tugging him away from the wall.

“Disgusting,” Kenma muttered, only vaguely aware of the kisses Kuroo was pressing against his scalp. “How could you ever -”

“Never disgusting,” Kuroo murmured. “Never. My heart, my Kenma -”

“I want too much,” he whispered, fingers clutching at Kuroo’s shirt. He wanted so much, he wanted everything, he was so selfish he didn’t even know why Kuroo was still here.

“I love you,” said Kuroo.

The world was breaking.

Or maybe it was just himself, shuddering, snot coming out his nose, tears staining Kuroo’s shirt as he held him tight. It was too much. The world was too much. He was too exposed, too raw, and so, so, terrified.

But Kuroo was there, hands gently smoothing down his back.

Kuroo was there, murmuring soft words and humming the tunes that he knew helped Kenma come back to earth.

Kuroo was there, and Kuroo loved him, even though he knew.

Trust. He could trust Kuroo. He held onto the thought like a mantra in the midst of the storm of his emotions, leaning against the one person who was always there for him, who gave everything to him, who had never let him go.

“I love you,” Kuroo murmured, and Kenma believed him.

The thought was his calm in the eye of the storm.

Kuroo hugged him close as Kenma shuddered one last time, letting his hands slip from fabric that had become too tight. 

“Better?” Kuroo asked, ducking his head down to press soft kisses against the hair over Kenma’s ear.

Kenma nodded. 

Better. It was better. It was good.

“Good,” Kuroo murmured, nuzzling gently.

Sighing Kenma just leaned against him, inhaling his scent.

“You should know, though,” Kuroo said in a voice that had Kenma freezing up again, “that I’m way better looking than that guy in your game.”

Kenma pushed back, looked up at him, and then turned around to walk off.

“Hey! Kenma, hey wait!”

Ducking his head, Kenma heard Kuroo’s steps behind him. “No, you’re not,” he muttered.

“Yes, I am!”

“No, you’re not,” Kenma said, trying to hide a smile as Kuroo’s fingers reached out to tangle up with his.

“Yes, I am,” Kuroo said, leaning closer. “And I’ll have you know that I can -”

Kenma’s ears turned pink at the next whispered words. “I’m not listening anymore,” he muttered, walking faster.

“Yes you are,” Kuroo teased.

“No, I’m not,” Kenma said. He so was not. 

Kuroo just laughed, squeezing his hand. “Kenma likes me,” he said, his smile evident in his voice.

Sighing, Kenma looked over, heart dropping into his stomach at the look of adoration in his best friend’s eyes. He was going to die. This was going to kill him.

But some things just couldn’t be argued with.

“Yes,” he said, “I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr at [kaiyouchan.tumblr.com](http://kaiyouchan.tumblr.com) and you too can send me random asks and inspirations (or questions about headcanons, or anything).


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